You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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