My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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