I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize