Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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