i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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