What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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