Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear