Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????