y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.