in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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