You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
