Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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