apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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