He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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