She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
