Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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