Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize