Don't make out with my wife yet
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not