i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We have started to decorate penises.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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