After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize