I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
