i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize