I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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