dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
