You're completely useless in the revolution.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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