ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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