I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize