Dual....:-)
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
