I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
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