we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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