oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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