can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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