so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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