the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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