She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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