dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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