I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
