Well douche your snatch and let's go!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
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we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize