I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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