he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
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I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So squirting runs in the family.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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