so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
