she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize