Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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