And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize