Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize