I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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