i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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