She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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