btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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