I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
