omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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