I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize