please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
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I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."