what if I'm pregnant?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa